


A Shot of Honesty

by Durkadur



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: AU, Affection - Freeform, Drinking, Drunk Roxy Lalonde, Honesty, M/M, Secrets, Swearing, Yaoi, alternative universe, secret feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-02-21
Updated: 2012-03-10
Packaged: 2017-10-31 12:47:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/344214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Durkadur/pseuds/Durkadur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Everybody's got their vice, all the stupid shit they do even though they shouldn't, right? Well, mine is drinking! First, off the bat, I acknowledge it, and I control it, second, it only harms me. You on the other hand, you're an assfuckhat."<br/>---------------</p>
<p>After a night at the clubs with Jake English, a drunk Roxy Lalonde decides it's about damn time somebody tells him that he needs to stop hiding his feelings for Dirk and just date the guy. Jake, initially, dismisses it as her drunk-rambles, but as time passes and more time is spent with Dirk, he begins to question himself. Maybe a shot of honesty is all he needed to make everything perfect, maybe it's all he needs to fuck up his friendship with his best friend, Dirk Strider.</p>
<p>(Dirk / Jake)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Shot

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Homestuck Fic, I know some things are off and not everyone's character is 100% there. Feel free to leave comments and constructive criticism; it's the only way I'll get better if you think about it XD. More importantly, please enjoy.

"Oy, mate! You're quite the fuckass!" Roxy yelled, imitating Jake's Australian accent.

Jake, of course, frowned at that. He knew not to take it personally: she was drunk, after all, but it did get annoying. How could it not?

Roxy's Australian accent-imitation wasn't bad when she was sober, but when she was drunk... it didn't even come close. The blonde girl swayed from side to side as they walked down the street together.

Jake had to wonder just how Roxy was able to stay up and not fall over when she was shitfaced-drunk and wearing high heels. It was a skill. As much as Jake didn't approve of her excessive drinking, he also had to admit she was a smart drunk. She was a smart girl on her own, and considering she spent most of her time drunk, she ended up being a smart drunk.

Smart enough to trick him into getting drunk as well.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair; the buzz from the earlier drinks were starting to wear off. This, of course, caused him to rethink his decision when Roxy barged into his apartment with a bottle of whiskey, while wearing something that screamed " _rich prostitute at your service, good sir_ ", or at least that's what he thought the dress said.

The dress was black, but there were small green dots on it that shone in a bizarre neon-glow. It was odd, and, yet, it looked damn good on her; if she wasn’t one of his best friends, he might have gone for her.

"Oy! Matee! The ship be haulin'!" Roxy suddenly turned around to face the raven haired male.

"Roxy, I am afraid you are now speaking with a pirate accent, as opposed to the Australian you are aiming for to degrade me with." Jake tried to be polite: an offended Roxy was not a happy Roxy.

"Yar, har, fiddle-ly-dee, do what you want because a pirate is free!"

Jake looked around on the street. Thank whatever existed that the street was empty. He slowly looked back to the women wearing her dress and holding a martini glas—"Wait, Roxanne! Did you thieve that glass from the nightclub we visited?"

"I didn't thieve anything from a wonky-tonk." She sipped from the glass until there was nothing left.

"Oh, gosh, you had me worried." Jake smiled.

"I'm not good at _thieving,_ so I just _stole_ it." She raised her arm and threw the now-empty martini glass on the ground, watching it shatter to shards.

"Roxy!"

"Whaaaaaaat?" She frowned, "Don't start the bullshit 'Mother Teresa' treatment on me, Jake; you're way worse than I am. At least I'm only hurting myself from the shit I do."

Jake suddenly frowned a much deeper frown than Roxy did. "What are you even talking about?—you're drunk, Roxy."

"Nooooo!" She paused and held a blank face for a second, "Well, yesssssss," she admitted, "But I'm not saying this because I'm drunk, I'm saying it because it's what I think... well..." She paused for another second, "I am saying this because I'm drunk: I wouldn't be saying it if I was soberer," pronouncing the last word with extreme unnecessary emphasis, "But it's what I think when I am sober, is what I'm trying to say."

Jake looked at the shards of glass, "Can we at least move some distance away, so if any chap comes by they do not think it was us."

"Good idea, wink-wink." She vocalized the word as she winked to Jake. She took his arm and dragged him along, much to his dismay. "I'm a good girl. Everybody's got their vice, all the stupid shit they do even though they shouldn't, right? Well, mine is drinking! First, off the bat, I acknowledge it, and I control it, second, it only harms me. You on the other hand, you're an assfuckhat."

Jake resumed his frown, "What are you even talking about? I don't have any vice."

"Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuulll" Roxy yelled as loud as she could (ignoring Jake's protest to try to shush her), "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitt!" She laughed obnoxiously loud, and somewhat stumbled over her own footing.

Jake was quick to catch her before she completely fell over. "Alright, alright, Roxanne… What is my vice, then?"

" _Sex!_ " Roxy exclaimed, without yelling (this time). "Well, that's part one of it. Think of it this way, I know all about how many guys you sleep with in a week. You're really troubled, about alottttaaa things, and you sleep with a lot of guys to feel better – it's no secret, really. Even Jane knows, and, face it, love that chick to death and back four hundred and thirteen times but she can be dense as a rock inside another rock."

Jake, who's feet still walked in pace with Roxy's, froze in fear. Jake was always the 'good boy' out of their group of four; he had thought that he could keep that a secret... but that woman was like a drunk fortune teller: she was always telling you random things that mindfuck you.

"Well, anyway, and we both know you've got the bigggggessttt hard-on for Diiiiiiiickkk, Diiiiiirkk,"

Jake's eyes went wide. Could she read his mind? Of course she couldn't, that would be preposterous, he knew deep inside.

"Oh, and you're bi, but you're so afraid people will think you're gay if you actually date a guy, so you turned into this massive closet-fag-sex-machine at night and you date girls in daylight, which is ironic because all the rainbows come out during the day." She laughed at her own joke.

Jake stopped walking.

Roxy walked a few steps without realising he wasn't taking her arm anymore before she turned around. "Well, that's why you're an ass hole."

"With all due respect, Roxanne," Jake frowned, "Would that not mean I am only hurting myself, like you are?"

"You're so fucking dense." Her drunk-aura seemed to subside for a moment. Drunk-Roxy was also Very-Honest-Roxy, and sometimes she was also Pointing-Things-Out-To-You-Because-You-Are-A-Fucking-Idiot-Roxy.

Jake had learned to take everything she said in her intoxication and crapulence with a grain of salt (instead of the martini Roxy offered).

"You know, Dirk's had the biggest hard-on for you since _fifteenth grade_...." She paused, "Wait, no... Since _he was fifteen_... that's _sixth_ grade..."

"Tenth grade," Jake corrected, trying not to let any emotion come out of his voice.

"Yeahh, _that_. And, you know he wants you baaaaaaaad. Fuck, you're a moron. He likes you, you like him, go be happy with him, wink-wonk-wonk." She, again, winked when she said 'wink' (and 'wonk').

Jake's lips pursed and he tried to think of a retort, but nothing came to mind.

"He's fucking perfect for you, dumbass." She sighed and looked up to the clouds. She noted it was probably going to rain. "If you want to be miserable, that's your choice. You can torture yourself and hurt yourself all you want; I can't stop you, and if it's what makes you happy then I won't stop you... but if you're gonna be torturing him too, you're either a fucking moron or an assfuckhat that deserves to be shot in the face."

Words of honesty shot out and formed a silence that thickly went between the two.

It was uncomfortable to say the least.

Roxy, as usual, decided she wanted to break the eeriness. "I could take another drink, where the fuck did I put my cup—wait, don't answer that, I threw it on the street..." She suddenly reached in her purse and pulled out another bottle of whiskey. Opening the top, she took a swig and looked over to Jake, "You look like you need a drink, too."

Jake sighed, "Bloody right, I do."

It was easy to see that he had some things to think about.


	2. Simple Texts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story continues after Jake's drunk talk with Roxy: he begins wondering "is she right?".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT, WORKING HTML ON THIS THING IS GRAWWWWHHHH... I'll have to fix it later, but it's finally up. Pardon me for the time-taken update, but I've been busy, besides that.... holy shit html... I hate you. The Custom Theme is required to see coloured text (which is the only way to indicate the speaker of the texts). EDIT: Added their pesterchum 'names' to the texts. I will fix this whole chapter later.
> 
> EDIT: The font colours are no longer the authentic ones that Homestuck uses: I darkened Dirk, Roxy and Jane's for an easier read. There is a lot more white on AO3 and it was straining my eyes.
> 
> Not too much happens in this chapter, but it's setting the stage for the next chapter, which will be done soon!

Jake English let his feet dangle as he sat on the brick fence, watching the sunset fall into the ocean. It was a nice scene, but he couldn’t really bring himself to really look at it; his mind was wandering on what Roxy had said a few nights ago.

Without looking down to see where his straw was, his lips somehow found its way around the tube. He continued to drink his vanilla milkshake. He sipped and swallowed. Sipped, swallowed. Rinse, repeat.

No matter how hard he tried to bring his mind away from what she said… about misery, and him, and Dirk… and how his actions would… He frowned, that was a lot to put on somebody’s shoulders. She was not correct in her conclusion. After all, Roxanne was drunk, he nodded to himself; her words were just an intoxicated blonde’s spur-of-the-moment thought. Yeah, he nodded again, she was intoxicated.

“Jake English,” he spoke to himself, “Who are you fooling?”

His green eyes looked up to the crimson sky.

Maybe Roxy was right.

Maybe all his insecurities and non-sensible thoughts were hurting Dirk. Dirk did like him, quite a bit, for a long time. It would have been fine if he did not reciprocate the feelings, but as much as he wanted to hide it – he knew he did. There was something about Dirk that just…

He could not find words.

Damn.

He really did have a thing for the guy, didn’t he? But, it wasn’t like he could just jump to the occasion and suddenly latch himself onto Dirk and confess his love(?) after all these years of pretending to not even notice the bloke’s heart.

“Well, this is quite the predicament…” Well, no, it wasn’t, and he knew that: he liked Dirk, Dirk liked him… what else was there? He wished he was more like Roxy, Dirk, or even Jane, who always stayed true to themselves, honest with themselves.

It was in that moment that he felt a vibration from his pants. He quickly reached in and pulled out his phone, flipping it open:

TT: Hey, Roxy and I are going to watch a movie tonight, want to come with? It’s Roxy’s sober night: I might need help with this one. 

Jake smiled. A movie with Roxy and Dirk? Of course! Before he could reply, however,

TT:  Jane said she’s also coming; it’ll be the four of us. 

Now the male was grinning wide. Somehow, he managed to bring his knees high enough to hold his milkshake, have the straw in his mouth, text and not fall over at the same time.

GT: It would be like old times! It’s certainly been a long time since we last hung out, I think it would be most swell! 

TT: Cute. Anyway, around 8 or 9-ish, we’re thinking about Double Shot. It’s an action movie; she never drinks to an action movie. 

Jake suddenly felt heat on his cheeks at the word ‘cute’. He had always preferred being called ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’; in fact, he rather disliked it when a guy called him ‘cute’, but when Dirk said it… it was another story completely. He wasn’t sure how Dirk meant that, either. Did he mean it meaningfully? Sarcastically? Stupid texting doesn’t give off tone well enough, he thought to himself.

Knowing Dirk and knowing Dirk’s feelings, it was probably supposed to come off as cool, side comment or side-note, but he probably really meant it as a compliment. He shook the thought away and went to responding:

GT: Why would Roxy not swig to an action movie? 

TT: She doesn’t get the movie if she’s drunk, and it frustrates her. Same with horror films or thrillers, but there aren’t any of those ones out, now. I’ll text you the times of the movie later; gotta run, Roxy just tackled the mailman. 

He blinked at his phone, making sure he read that right. “Oh, Roxanne…” He looked at the clock on his phone, 5:30. He had a few hours to shower, get ready, make himself a bit more presentable.

 

It wasn’t long before Jake English found himself at his apartment; instinctively, after opening the door, he tossed his keys on the side table and ran a hand through his hair.

~~~***~~~

GG: So, what’s the plan? Sneak away and see if they get close? 

TG: Hells to the yes! Jake’s going to try to make a move i know it 

GG: I think he will, and he should too! They would look so cute together. Should we slip away during the movie or after? 

TG: Yeah Jake will and noooooooo there catch on to that and itd make Dick uncomfortable.

TG: *they’d sorry. Autocorrect. 

GG: So should we sneak away after the movie, then? 

TG: Yeah, and just hope Jake doesn’t do something stupid.

~~~***~~~

Dirk looked at himself in the mirror. The usual Strider-beast he usually was. A small smile formed on his lips. Strider-beast? Striders were honestly the biggest dorks he knew.

He checked his phone. Jake needed a ride, and he’d have to leave in five minutes to get there on time. With his head turned, “Dave, I’m heading out. Dinner’s in the fridge, just reheat it. Don’t burn the house down, alright?”

“Alright!” A sound was heard from Dave’s room.

Dirk shook his head. He didn’t even know if he could trust the other Strider with the oven: their old apartment almost did burn down because of Dave. With an eye roll, Dirk called out a goodbye to his younger brother and left.

He stepped out of his house, a few steps down the steps, and walked over to his car. Getting into the trash, he closed the door and turned on the ignition.

It was weird. He had a strange flutter in his chest. It was nothing new to him. The flutter was always there when he thought about Jake. Damnit, he sounded like a bad romance novel. But, it was true. Even if he tried to deny it, which he stopped doing, he knew it was true.

Damnit.

He needed to stop thinking about the guy and start getting over him. Immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to leave a comment! I won't bite!


	3. Embrace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, third chapter... this took way too long to update; I've been busy.
> 
> Anyone else's head cannon Roxy uses a lot of emphasis when she's sober?

“What the fuck?” Roxy yelled obnoxiously loud as she kicked open the exit doors of the movie theatre to be hit in the face by the frosty night air. “You’re telling me I’m not drunk so I could see _that_ movie? Why not just close down every bar in this country? Restart _prohibition_! Burn down _every_ drop of liquor in this _universe_!”

Dirk rolled his eyes, “The movie was not _that_ bad.”

Roxy turned around and glared at him.

A small chuckle left his throat, “Alright, it was that bad.”

Jake laughed as he followed the group. He was tagging a little behind, being more of an observer than one of their friends. He didn’t really realise what he was doing; it was more subconscious than anything.

“But…” Jane shivered as her flustered face began to blush bright red, “When that guy took his shirt off…”

“Alright fine,” Roxy muttered, “That was the _only_ good part. I bet Dirk liked that part!”

Dirk scoffed and rolled his eyes behind his shades, “He’s not my type.”

“Oh?” Roxy turned around; she began walking backwards to face her friends and advance with them at the same time. A small, demonic smile curved on the corner of her lips as her light amethyst eyes suddenly daggered Jake. “And what _is_ your type, Dirk?”

Dirk had known Roxanne Lalonde long enough to know exactly what she was doing. He didn’t have time to think of the best way to diffuse this bomb, so he went with his back up plan: he coughed lightly, “It’s complicated.”

“Of course it is,” Jane shivered from the cold while trying to stop the demon from playing her games between the two.

“No fun.” She turned again, facing forward. Noticing the other girl begin to shiver, she saw her chance. “Hey Janey, wanna get a milkshake?”

“Not really…”

“Hey, _Jane_.” She made eye contact, speaking the language of the eye-contact people with the blue-eyed woman. “Want to get a milkshake with me, _and only me_ , and have a hot _lesbian_ make out?”

Dirk closed his eyes and silently swore at the blonde girl.

Jake rubbed his forehead with his hand.

“Oh! Yes! I’m a lesbian! Haha! _Hoo hoo hoo!_ ”

And in a flash, Jake was suddenly left alone with Dirk.

Just like that.

And it wasn’t until then that Dirk noticed that Jake had fallen behind from the crowd. Jake seemed off. Something was off. Dirk turned towards him and tilted his head ever-so-slightly. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, I am quite fine.” He smiled.

Even behind his shades, it was obvious to see that Dirk wasn’t convinced.

“It really is nothing! I just noticed that I, somewhat… pine for moments like these again.”

Dirk raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean?” The blond took a step closer to him, examining him.

 “I just remembered, when we were younger… we attempted to congregate every weekend to hang out. It used to be just like today, too. I guess I merely miss those days.” Jake smiled lightly. A small breeze seemed to blow and they both shivered, but neither of them moved.

“Roxy was telling me that she thought you weren’t getting out enough,” Dirk muttered, “I thought she was trying to find an excuse to get you drunk, though.”

“Oh, well, that night.” Jake suddenly remembered Roxy’s words of drunken wisdom.

_You can torture yourself and hurt yourself all you want;  
I can't stop you, and if it's what makes you happy  
 then I won't stop you..._

“It was a rather swell night,” he lied with a smile.

Dirk, unconvinced, stared into his best friend’s eyes. “You’ve been acting weird lately… If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you want to drift away from us.”

The raven haired male’s eyes widened, “Not at all, Strider!”

_but if you're gonna be torturing  
him too, you're either a fucking moron or an assfuckhat that   
deserves to be shot in the face._

“It’s just that I’ve been busy.” Jake offered a smile. “It’s nothing against you or Roxy or Jane, I have only been preoccupied by other things.”

Dirk raised his hands, signalling that he meant nothing by it. After a small silence, “Hey, Jake.”

“Yeah?”

The blond seemed more serious this time, “You know, if there’s anything bothering you, you can talk to us. You know that, right?”

“Of course, Strider.” Jake grinned.

“I’m just a little, worried about you, English.”

“You’re always worried about me, Dirk.”

The blond smirked lightly for only a moment before his smile saddened. “More than usual is what I mean.”

Jake scratched the back of his head, “Really, Strider, I’m fine. Nothing is currently bustling me. If there was, I would come to my friends… and, you would be first.”

Dirk’s smirk seemed to take flight again before he put an arm around the other one and pulled him close. What he expected to be a ‘bro-hug’, soon turned to be an actual hug… almost, an affectionate hug? He wasn’t sure.

Jake wrapped his arms around Dirk’s waist, leaning in to his chest. For him, it was an internal battle. He never understood; why didn’t he just let himself fall for his best friend?

It was as if he was in front of a huge hole in the ground, and all he had to do was let himself fall down. All he wanted was to jump right in, head-first… but he was afraid… afraid that the guy who had a thing for him would not reciprocate his feelings? That didn’t even make sense. Why couldn’t he let himself be happy? Why couldn’t he let Dirk be happy?

Dirk wrapped his other arm around his best friend, holding him tighter than usual. He moved his head to the side, trying to read Jake’s expression.

But Jake had pressed his forehead on to Dirk’s shoulder and looked down.

“Jake?”

“Sorry, chap, I concocted a fallacy.”

“…what?”

Jake chuckled, looking up; he couldn’t help but notice how small the distance was between their faces, between their lips. From the distance, if he stared into Dirk’s eyes, behind those shades, he could look into his eyes. “I lied. There is something bothering me.”

Dirk looked into Jake’s eyes, leaning in slightly. “Talk to me,” he whispered softly.

“Dirk… I…”

Dirk felt his heart rate go up.

 Those three words, that is what he wanted to say. Three simple words. But the words could not leave his throat. He was afraid. Afraid of what? Love? The effects on their Friendship? Commitment? What was he afraid of? “Dirk, I…”

“You can talk to me.”

“I know, it’s just.” Jake closed his eyes, “I’ve been working overtime at work because of a small financial issue.” Crafty, English, he mentally tortured himself. “It has costed me to become very stressed, and I just wanted to say thank you for inviting me to this.”

Dirk forced a smile, anytime. He knew he shouldn’t have gotten his damn hopes up.

The embrace they shared suddenly shifted. Jake felt the affection become somewhat unstable, almost as if it was morphing to disappointment, and anger. Jake swallowed hard and smiled back. Dirk broke away from him. It was easy to see the pain.

_you're either a fucking moron or an assfuckhat that  
deserves to be shot in the face._

“We should get going… I don’t want to leave Janie with Rage-Roxy for too long.” He half-joked.

“Yeah!” Jake cringed.

Why was he doing this to himself? What was he afraid of?

Why couldn’t he let them be happy?


End file.
